MARITAL INFIDELITY: WAY OUT
COME OUT OF MARITAL CHALLENGES
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13vs4).
God established marriage to be between two readily mature male and female with the seal – “till death do us part.” Marriage is also an official covenant made between two mature individuals (male and female). Death is the only thing that must separate them. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour never encouraged divorce, therefore divorce is never an optional arrangement in marriage.
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What does defilement mean in MARRIAGE?
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Defilement is the deviation from the mutual love and faithfulness which ought to bind both couples together till death separates them. Defilement is also a deviation from the biblical standard given by God. Defilement is deviation from the Will of God.
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WHAT THEN IS BED DEFILEMENT IN MARRIAGE?
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Bed defilement simply means having an extramarital affairs with another partner outside your marriage vows. Bed defilement is the invitation for infidelity in marriage. When the wife or husband begins to keep another partner outside the wedlock, then infidelity begins to set in. Infidelity begins with lyings and secrecy. Husband and wife are one, there should be no secret between them. God frowns at it. In our days, infidelity is on the high rating scale, it is so rampant that it is even seen among so-called ministers of God and General Overseers. The world’s system and pattern of life in marriage has crept in into the Christian fold and has made an abode in the Christendom. God is never happy at anyone who does not keep to his or her marriage vows and responsibilities.
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There is a way out of marital infidelity. There is a way out of bed defilement. In order for you not to fall victim of breaking your marriage vows, these are the biblical standard given by God for marriage. You may know this. In fact, it is often mentioned at church wedding program.
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To our beloved husband, read the following scripture over and over. Husbands, LOVE your wives, even as Christ also LOVED the church, and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5vs25). If I may ask you husband, is there any condition placed for loving your wife? How did Christ love us (the church)? Is it not that Christ so much loves us that He died for us, irrespective of our shortcomings that we might be saved and live no more in sin? O ye husband, if truly you want God to be happy at and with you, the only thing you need to do to have a glorious marriage is to love your wife unconditionally. Loving her will not make you to have extramarital relationship with anyone else. Loving her will not make you to keep things away from her. Loving her will make you to honour and cherish her more than anything and anyone else. Loving her will make you to correct her mistakes in love. Loving her will make you to help her in getting rid of her weakness in love. There are countless things that generates from true love.
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To our beloved wife, read the following scripture over and over. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5vs22).
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If I may ask you wife, “is there any condition placed for submitting to your husband? How will you submit to the Lord Jesus Christ? The only fundamental instruction guiding the wife in marriage is to submit to her own husband. Your husband may not be ‘your taste‘ as you desire but when you submit to him as you will submit to the Lord, then you will find your marriage enjoying and blissful. The reason why many husbands and wives have challenges is because the husbands don’t love their wives as Christ loves the church; the wives don’t submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. Husbands and wives must know that God allows their union to take place, therefore God’s instructions must be embraced faithfully.
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Lastly, in order to avoid marital infidelity, Christian marriage ought to have a living and firing altar. Blissful marriage is the target of the enemy (the devil). Christian couples must not be ignorant of this truth. The devil knows that a Christian marriage who has a living and firing altar will pull down his strongholds, depopulating his kingdom. He therefore targets the blissful Christian marriage. This is why every Christian marriage that wants to survive must have a consistent living and firing altar. Altar of prayer, studying and digging deeper into the word of God.
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It is my sincere prayer, that every marriage experiencing troubles shall receive divine visitation right now in Jesus name. Every stronghold militating against your prayer and bible study altar is pulled down in Jesus name (AMEN)
Marriage is the most honourable institution created by God. God never makes mistakes in choosing marital partner for His children. He carefully picks the most suitable partner for His children who will help in fulfilling His Will on the planet earth. However, no matter how suitable marital partners (couple) may be, there are tendencies of mistakes, natural habit, background adherence exhibited by both parties. This perhaps causes little or serious misunderstanding as the case may be. Physical issues like posture, eating style, etc; emotional issues like inability to frequently say thank-you, I-love-you, inability to always pay attention to either of the spouse, etc; psychological issues like snoring while sleeping, manner of contributions to things, manner of caring for the home, including the children, etc; financial issues as the case may be; spiritual issues as the case may be. There are evidently one thousand and one issues being faced in marriages (homes) these days, even in the Christian homes which cause the marriage to be facing seemingly big challenges.
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It is worthy of note, that God does not make mistakes in choosing for His children. Some marriages are as a result of incompatibilities, even if you think you are not compatible, as Christians you have to go back to the word of God and fulfill His instruction for your marriage.
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MEASURES FOR COMING OUT OF MARITAL CHALLENGES
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The number one thing you must do is to ACKNOWLEDGE God in your marriage. How do you go about it? Acknowledging God means going to Him and letting Him know the challenges. Every problem has its solutions in the scripture. When you don’t acknowledge the fact that God is the only one who can bring solutions to the challenges, of you don’t acknowledge the fact that God is the Author of the marriage, the one who joined you together, the problem will persist. 1 Peter 5vs7 tells us to cast our cares (burdens) upon Him (Jesus Christ) for He cares for us. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 11vs28 that we should come to Him all those who labour and are heavy laden and He will give us rest. So, the first thing is to ACKNOWLEDGE His ability to solve your marital challenges.
Secondly, you need to open your heart flexibly before God’s word and be ready to harken diligently to His instructions. When God says husband LOVE your wife unconditionally, you must be able to do as He instructs, except you want to de-register yourself from being His son. When He says wives, SUBMIT to your husband, you don’t have any option than to harken diligently to His instructions, except you want to de-register yourself from being His daughter. When we harken to His instructions, we might find it uneasy initially, but it will be yielding at the end. For instance, your husband was very promiscuous before he got born-again and later met you for marriage. The doctor might even say that he has low sperm count, you as the wife don’t have to be accusing him that he is the reason for your inability to give birth; if it is the other way round, you as the husband don’t have to be accusing your wife, reminding and accusing her of the past that Christ has forgiven her of. This will bring issues in your home. Husband and wife must LOVE and SUBMIT respectively and unconditionally.
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Please note, that both parties (couple) are to COMPLIMENT each other. Complementing each other is born out of GENUINE LOVE. Complimenting means to ASSIST; so you will have to assist your spouse in areas of weakness in order for him/her to gain strength. The willing spouse will appreciate it, but when you are nonchalant on your spouse’ weakness, it is your nonchalance that will later backfire and cause issues in your home. As Christian spouse, you are meant to pray together. Spouses who pray together in LOVE stands the test of time. In a case where either of the spouse is ACTIVE while the other is PASSIVE, the active Christian spouse should take the matter to the personality who joined you together, the Author of marriage, telling Him your heart desire; of course your desire must be to work on your husband. Lastly, but not the least, you must relentlessly pray for your spouse (i.e.) praying without ceasing.
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I pray that every home having one problem or the other, I ask the mighty hands of God to visit them right now in Jesus name (AMEN).
GOD’S INTENDED DESIGN FOR HUSBANDS AND WIVES
God did not design male and female for the distorted reality we see today. Instead of men using women merely for pleasure and abusing them, they should be their protectors. Instead of women enticing and coercing men by offering sexual favors, they should maintain their dignity and purity.
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Husbands should not demand or force submission by their wives, but should selflessly and sacrificially give of themselves for them. Husbands should treat their wives as precious, delicate
jewels, entrusted to their care. Wives should not manipulate and control their husbands, striving to be the head of the house, but willingly and lovingly submit as to the Lord. Women were not created to be “hurt mates” who undermine and oppose what the Lord wants to do through their husbands, but “help mates” who support and encourage them. The Lord intends for a man to unconditionally love and protect his wife, and for a wife to be a loyal companion and help mate—both remaining faithful to the Lord and each other. Scripture has a clear and emphatic message for both wives and husbands — Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything; Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (Ephesians 5vs22-25, 33). We cannot deny the obvious teaching of Scripture nor the inherent wisdom and blessings when both husband and wife submit to the Lord and honor Him with their lives and marriage.
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Curled from Danger of Sexual Immortality by BILL RUDGE